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Archive for September, 2010

If my horn could speak…

.. this is what is would say (yell :P)

  1. To the pedestrian who looks like deer caught in headlights – I am really moving fast, so if you want to cross the road, cross NOW or STOP right there. Do not take a few steps and dawdle about it!!!
  2. When the traffic light changes, and the vehicle ahead of you doesn’t move “Unclejee soo gaye kya? Signal Green ho gaya, ab chale?” (The light has changed, can we move on?)
  3. When over taking from the left of bus, to the people who get down not when the bus is moving a little slowly – “E bhai jara dekh ke utro :P”
  4. To the vehicle in front that has been blocking you, when I finally overtake him.. just a tiny honk to let him know – “Nyah nyah na na naa, you cannot stop me :P”
  5. To Mama (traffic policeman) when he is not letting your lane go and you have been waiting for (reasonably) long time – “Ata jaudya na mama :P” (“Please let us go *sad face*”). And when it has been even longer, and Mama has blocked your lane for an unreasonably long amount of time.. Other vehicles join in a chorus honking session chanting (by their horns of course :P) “Let us go… let us go *angry faces*”
  6. To the biker/car/bus/truck who cuts very suddenly – “wtf, are you blind?”
  7. To P when I come to pick him up,- “Lo mein aa gayi” (I am here baby :D)

What would your horn say ?

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I scream, you scream we all scream for –

Ice-cream !!!

Continue reading if you want to prepare drool-worthy, spoon licking tender-coconut ice-cream. Note that all the steps mentioned below are to be strictly followed, the consequences of not doing so can be disastrous.

Step one – Take your mom shopping. Very important. You cannot treat her to coconut water, unless she is tired of going into “n” shops and looking at hazaar gifts for the coming Diwali season. So do not miss this step.

Next – Ask nariyal waale bhaiyya to pick medium malai wala coconuts. Once you are done drinking, try to eat as much malai as you can. I can assure you there cannot be a lot of progress on this front. It is impossible to finish.

Then, you will remember the kind soul, (hint: me :P) who put up this delicious recipe for tender coconut ice-cream for exactly these kind of scenarios.

On the way back, buy a one liter packet of whole milk.

Come back home, offer the malai to others in the house, warning them if they manage to keep their hands away from it, they might get a bite of the yummy ice-cream you will be making. Hah! that will keep them away 😀

Turn the house upside down for the aluminum vessel that you know is somewhere around, which will allow you to reduce milk to half its original quantity, by just pouring all the milk in it and having a ladle in it, while keeping the gas on a low flame.

The milk-reduction will take half an hour, during which I’d suggest you to take the much-needed break for some shut-eye, or watch tv. If you are the forgetful kind (just like me), please add an alarm on your mobile, else you will have to witness the extremely scarily charred remains of the milk.

Cut the coconut into pieces and put it through the mixer along with 2-3 tablespoons of milk, until you get a rough paste. Use more milk if needed.

Cool the milk and mix it with the coconut paste. Add sugar according to taste. Stop yourself from finishing the mix at this point. Put it in the freezer, lock the freezer and throw away the keys if you have to 😛

Give it around 5-6 hours after which you can start hunting for the keys again :P. When you finally manage to grab a bite, come back here and comment to let me know how it went, before you go back and drown in the awesomeness of the rich creamy tender coconut ice-cream.

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Story of my life

Pre marriage:-

Pal Pal pal pal har pal har pal kaise katega pal har pal ……

Me (picking up the phone, what you thought I was singing ? :P) : Hey baby
P: Hey, how are you?
Me: Good good.. I was missing you.
A bored colleague who had to listen to this conversation 10,000 times a day – Fir se? Abhi to baat ki thi
P: I missed you too, sweet-heart
Me: There are so many jealous people around me, sigh. You are so romantic! I am so lucky,
P: No dear, I am lucky!

and so on.. I am sure you do not want to read any more of these sickeningly sweet nothings 😛

And now:-

This is how our chat (yeah, yeah why spend on the wife) summary looks like ..

Me: hey dude
(5 mins later) Me: you there?
(20 mins) Me again: Guess you must be busy, was just wondering if you had lunch. How is your day going btw?

30 mins later he finally notices my messages
P: Sorry, a little busy right now, will ttyl

Edited to add: My shameless ploy for attention worked, he called me thrice today 😛 😛

p.s. The description above does not hint about the real reasons for his behaviour, since the author felt that informing the readers about the fact that he was, totally lukkha during pre-marriage days (because he had submitted resignation/ had no projects assigned) and that now when he has just joined the new firm, has truckloads of work and meetings (basically is actually, really busy) will make you sympathize towards him and steal the fun out of the post 😛

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sky

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One where I think too much..

.. about what to blog! Since last Tuesday, there has been no real post (WW doesn’t really count). I feel sad just looking at the daily stats and the dropping weekly visitor count. Man! Those things are addictive! I rack my brains to come up with a half decent idea, but no avail.

This is how my day starts :

P: Baby, what time are you leaving?
Me: 9
P: That early? you’re going by bike, plus I though you were relatively free this week!
Me: I have some important work
P: Ah. the blog 😛
Me: hmph (Need to check behind his head for secret mind-reading devices!)

On the way to office, thinking ..oo I could do a post on my bike! Show it some luurrvvee..reality check – Not again! Done it more than once :(. Oh wait! What about these pedestrians who are crossing roads without looking at any (forget either) side of the road, and I get the feeling that their ears are wired to consider loud honking as soothing background music while they jay-walk on the highway. But wait! I am in the minority here and if there are any pedestrians in my sparse readership, even they will leave my poor blog and move on the greener funnier, more interesting, most importantly less insulting pastures. Or, the post could be about those bikers, who scare me out of my wits while riding. They have this immense control over their vehicles, like it is a part of their body, and treat it as if they are on a joy (scare ride for me) ride in Essel World. They ride like dashing cars, going in a completely zig-zag way, Ouch! a bump on the road brings me back to reality. Need to focus on the road, if I ever wish to see the “New-Post” page on WordPress again :P. Finally reach office, still completely preoccupied with just one though – ‘what do I blog about?’

Arrive in office. Check mail. 2-3 new comments on a Blank post!. Happy-happy now attach the power cord, visit loo etc :P. Come back, check stats – Ooh, they have crossed the 10,000 mark – yipee! Reply to comments. Check reader. Read smarty’s super hilarious new post. Sink further into depression, there is no way I am going to be able to write something even 0.000000000000000001 percent funny or interesting or read-worthy as that!

Finally get around the work stuff. Realise I am stuck for some inputs and cannot progress. Silently celebrate, lest colleagues know about the joblessness.

Barely manage to type this out, wondering all the while, how do you guys do it?

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Blank!

I open notepad. Type a few words. Erase. Repeat. Just cannot think of anything right now :(.

Till I get back to my senses, and am able to write again, why don’t you guys hop over to CB’s and have some fun. She hosted a complete-the-story contest. And there are some fabulous entries. Go read how Will and Rose’s story ends, in so many romantic, comic, dramatic, sci-fi-ish (:P) and even vampirish way! I promise you’ll have an awesome time. And while you are there do not forget to vote for your favourite stories!

The Dialogue

For those of you who could not submit entries to her contest in time, fear not :D. She is also running a sub-contest. All you need to do is identify the authors of the stories. It is that simple (not!). Why are you still here? Go now… shoo!

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Ganapati bappa morya

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