Dear C,
You were the first person I in my life, that I could really connect with. I had friends before you, but I never got the whole funda behind the “best-friend” thing. I wasn’t good at socializing or making friends. But you made it easy. Despite my pathetic memory, I still remember my first day in CS class. I had transferred in from a different branch, I was completely new, and did not know anyone. I entered the classroom, and it was huge, I was scared, and wanted to run away or get swollen by the floors below (we sat on the fifth floor 
). I looked at the last bench, it was empty. You were sitting with someone on the second last bench, and I don’t know what made you graciously make place for a third person on that tiny bench. That gesture really touched me. And the next day onwards, we both ditched the other girl 
and started sitting together. We had so much fun together. You taught me how to gossip, how to crack jokes so that the guys sitting in front would get caught laughing while we would keep a straight face. You added mirch-masala to news which you got from your gossip-network that spread throughout college, so I would get the whole dope, and feel like an insider. For the first time in my life, I felt like I has a best friend. I could talk most stuff with you, you just understood, we somehow clicked.
It is that bond we used to share, I think, that causes me so much pain now. We have not talked in years, and after our fight, it was almost a punishment to sit next to you. The last few months of college were made painful, since neither of us wanted to be bench-partners, yet neither would come ahead and say it aloud. After college we just stopped talking. Had no reason to.
I can never forget the fight, nor its reason. And yet, I will continue to stalk your FB/orkut profile, and feel jealous that your wedding pics look so much more awesome than mine, and at some level, want to know what is really going on with you. But.. but I know that will never happen.
I am really sad that I lost you. What happened cannot be undone, but what I truly am thankful for is the fact that you were a part of my life. However much I hate you for things that happened between us, it will never change the fact that you were really, truly my first best friend ever.
Your glad-to-be-once-best-friend.
It’s so hard when such bonds break.
hugs.
It sure it. You know, it has been 5 years since then, and I cannot get it out of my mind.
First!!!
Awww piyu!!! love ur note – i think i could write a similar one to someone…though we do “formal talk”…i miss what we had sometimes…!!!
Yep, according to PNA and Nu’s rules, the first to claim is indeed first
I know.. We have had these “formal” talks once or twice as well.. but they are no where near to the real thing.
Yes Nuts you are firsssssssssssssssssssssst….
authorized
Am so sorry that you are no longer on talking terms..Friends are very important to us..and help shape the person we become..
Hugs..
I am sorry too
. I changed a lot after I met her, she sure has a hand in what I am now.
That was touching, Piyu. I wish your friend gets to read this. Friendship is one of the purest and unfettered relationships and I can say this because my two close friends have been an integral part of my life since the time I can remember and I shudder to think where I’d have been without them.
The blog is completely anonymous, plus we don’t really talk anymore. So I don’t know if I’d ever tell her about this.
Its really great that you have these two close friends, cherish them and don’t fight with them like I did
You just wrote whats been on my mind..like forever.. The only difference is that we didnt have a fight. I wasnt good at maintaining long distant relationships and she was just like me.
I can understand the pain Piyu. I am so sorry to have lost my frnd too. 
Its her bday this 22nd. And I will calling her and I was also planning to write down some of our memories. 
Your post is right on time inspiring me 
Oh yes, I have lost the bond I shared with my friends due to long distance too.. That hurts as well. I am sorry that you has to lost her
Call her girl and chat and bring back all those old memories
. Waiting for you post!
This really broke my heart….we all have such stories I guess…should write mine too soon…
I guess
. Share your story, would like to read it.
A friend of mine and I kind of ‘drifted apart’, and i so miss the times when we would talk non stop. We are still on excellent terms (because there was never a fight involved) but somehow the equation and the chemistry has changed. It does make me sad sometimes. And it also makes me angry at that friend that she wont take enough efforts to maintain that awesome chemistry we had… But then thats life… you just cant help but look back on some memories fondly.
I agree with Neha totally…it’s the rule of life…change! And sometimes when we get stuck up at some point we expect others to do and feel the same which isn’t possible ! And hence it hurts
We need to learn to let go…
Yeah, learning to let go. But it is hard! and I really don’t want to
Yes, I have a similar very close friend too. She was never good at maintaining old-relations. We still have fun when we meet or talk, but I feel hurt that she never feels the need to maintain our friendship as much as I do. But the times we all had together, just always makes me smile.
Reminded me of my once-upon-a-time BFF RV. She and me were inseparable…and something just went wrong and we fought and today it’s been a year and a half that we haven’t met or spoken to each other
The pain remains,I know ! And nothing can placate it
It has been 5 years since we fought and it still hurts at some level
I hope your friend reads this, Piyu! I really do hope..
I don’t know.. I don’t think I’ll share it with her considering we are not on speaking terms, I want her to know how I feel, but I don’t want to tell her
I exactly know how painful it is. I and my best friend for 6 years fought 8 months ago and it was a nasty fight. We both stopped talking to each other but some part of misses her like hell but the other part me hates her for all the things she said. Its really sad isnt it?
Yes, I am still angry about the things she said, and there is really no chance I can forgive her for that, but I still miss my friend, and the awesome time we had
Very sad, indeed.
Tough to deal with a situation like this, no? But I love the note. It’s like a closure of sorts. Only, I hope one day whatever caused you to part, doesn’t seem as important, and all becomes good again.
You hit the bulls eye. It does feel like closure after writing this down. The fight reason, was really really important to me, so forgiving/forgetting that might not happen
.
Same pinch
I’m sure that made u feel better piyu….It hurts wen someone soo close to drifts apart cos of the fights we have in the past…. Wens years go by u realise tht only if we could rewind things bck ….but then its too late
i can understd how u feel.
here’s a bigg huggggggggg frm me
Yes it did. I had all this pent up anger and at the same time, I kinda missed her too. So this post was perfect to vent all of it out
Thanks Dido, huggg back
Loads of hugs Piyu. I know hw it feels to lose a best friend to something like that
Loved where u said u still love her for being what she was 
Thanks swaram
. Its weird to have the love/hate feeling for a once upon a time best friend.
I can understand your feeling Piyu.. I have also experienced it. Some bad things my friend did just really hurted me and the relationship just ended. Yes, we are still in touch, but we are not so close now, just a formal talks. I not even share with her anything personal about me. I do feel bad about that and feel like forgiving her, but the mark what she has left is not at all healing and whenever i remember that, my blood boils. May be it will take some more time.
Hugs to you.. If at all possible to reconnect from your side, pl do (I know it is easy to say, but difficult to follow), as realy friends are very rare to get
The hurt cannot heal. It was just too important to me. I wish it were a silly enough fight which could have been forgotten and we could have patched up. But it isn’t so, patch up is really not possible
Aww….I just hope your friend somehow reads this and gets back to you with the warmth you once shared
Amen!!
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I wish it were as easy
Hugs CB
Oh dear…when u are stalking her FB profile…why dont u make an attempt to talk to her now ???? If you’ve really grown past those silly college days fight, u shld talk it out.
Come on, when u have so much love for ur BFF, you shld not keep quiet and write letters like this.
Plz try to contact her. I tell u, it’ll be the best thing to happen. {{{{{hugs}}}} to make u feel better.
Uma, it wasn’t a trivial fight. It isn’t something that I could possibly forgive her for
. So, as good as you advise is, I really cannot get myself to patch up with her.
Thank you so much for the hugs dear
I loved this… I think all of us have gone through this at some point of time or the other.. so its so easy to identify ourselves with you.
And I agree with Uma, forget the past and go , reach out to her. It might just be what both she and you need
Thanks Pallavi, and welcome here
.
It might be, but I don’t have it in me to confront her about it, or forgive her either, so I really doubt things can change between us
Hey Piyu,
Hugsssssssssssssss to you and I guess most of us have drifted away from our once-upon a time inseparable BFFs! It’s sad because they were so much part of our lives back then and because of some differences or fights or silence are not together now…
MJ sent me an email yesterday, about friendship… and it was so apt how friends drift away and don’t talk because after a point after a fight or a period of silence we wait for the other to start talking.. and that never happens…
my two pence: if you really feel she was special, patch up because true friends are hard to come by! that being said, my bff’s birthday is a month from today she pissed me off on something and we haven’t spoken for 8 months now. I’ll wish for sure, and see whether amends can be made, because having her in life was a bonus…
think over, give it a try… so you may never regret later
Hugsssssss and kisses…
Pinnnnnnnnnooooooo
Hugs back Pinoo
. I know she was really special, but it is really hard (mostly impossible) to forget and get past what happened. I know I would love to be back on normal terms with her, but I don’t think I am capable of it 
.
Thanks you so much for your lovely words dear.
If its of any comfort to you, you are not alone. We all have similar stories…
Tight hugs
Hugs back divs
Hugs dear…
Thanks Dew
Shit .. wish I could wrtie such a letter over coming my bitterness for a certain A … common friends Gtalk msgs read 28 days to go n I know its the countdown for her marraige … the one which we had planned for 4 years in colege.. the one where I was to do everything n be the best girl …. sadly I am not … a few exchange of mails where hop u make it seems not enough .. but then given a chance will I go forward and wantt o undo things .. perhaps No .. tghe hurt n bitterness is too strong .. even after all these years…. but yes as you said it piyu am thankful for her to be my first best friend ….
Huggggsss girl!!!